The Daily Kanga

"There is something about you that is familiar..."
"Is that because I am Human... just like you?"
"Perhaps... but it is something more."
"More or less of bullshit?"
"OK, OK, I give, you got me... it's all bullshit."
"Ahh, yes now *that* sounds familiar, indeed."

"So, you tell me what do you think?"
"Well, I have to say that it's a rather sticky situation."
"Sticky?!"
"Well, yes. I mean, don't you think that stepping in gum is sticky?"
"Gum? What are you talk..."
"See... you have gum on your shoe."
"Oh that is just GREAT! Not, only do I have cum in my hair, but gum on my shoe!"
"Whoah... how did you get cum in your hair?"
"Are you serious? Where were you 20 mins ago?"
"On top of you."
"And... what else... happened?"
"I have to say that I am rather shocked! You do not remember?"
"I remember, but aprntly you don't! I'm still waiting for you to tell me why you asked me how I go to have cum in my hair."
"Wait... you mean that was me?!"
"Yes."
"Oh, and I thought you were just overzealous with the hair product."
"Hair product? We just had sex in an alley. Where am I going to get hair product from?"
"Good point. But you still have gum on your shoe."
"And you still have a pube sticking out of your mouth."

....

"I finally got the cum out of my hair!"
"I brushed my teeth. Am I free of pubes now?"
"mm well, I don't see any sticking out of your mouth; however, if you totally want to be free of pubes..."
"!"
"Oh, come on, it will be fun! All you have to do is lay there."
"Right. So, just do what you do then?"
"..."

    Within the chilly air, brings a warm comfort of knowing that you will be there. Under the darkened shadow of sweet Luna herself, every outline of shadow holds a memory of you. Lines that are fleeting, lines that are only but a glimpse from the corner of my eye, and yet, somehow, someway, you can still be seen.

    Under the light of the rising Sun, the shadows slither away, racing back to the arms of Luna, seeking shelter, surrendering once again, into the night, waiting for the next earthly visit. As the night borns a new morn, I sit upon this steady rock, gazing upon the rippling water, holding dear the memories of you from night before. As the Sun rays upon the clear water, glistening with a sparkling promise of a new day, here I sit upon this steady rock, waiting for you to make your way...back to me. 

The mighty barks stretch high into the Sky, branching into the leaves that sway with the kisses of the wind. I remember the words that you left to linger within me, surpassing anything in which I have ever heard before, penetrating through my flesh, 10,000 inches of aching flesh that eagerly awaits your arrival, flesh that yearns to be soothed by your very hands.

As the morn grows into the half day, I find myself lost in thoughts, thoughts of only you will know, remember, feel. All the times in which we traveled, the places in which we explored; Me the curious one, you the cautious one:

     'I want to know what is beyond that path!'
     'In time you will, but for now, you must take the time to know the current path; otherwise, we may get lost.'
     'And that would be an adventure within itself, would it not?'
     'I always enjoy our adventures together, but within this night, within this journey, we must hurry to the end of this path, for you know what awaits us.'
     'Yes, I do know what awaits us there, and that is why I am not curious about it, for I.. I.. would rather know what is down the other path. As things stand now, we can survive the unknown, but at the end of this path, we know what is waiting for us, I... I... '   
     'The fear is great within me also, but, this is what we must do. We must accept this together, for it waits for us together.'
    'The closer we get, the more of the end I see, the more of the end I feel and the heavier my steps become.'

These thoughts over and over in my head, causing me to ache to want to  tease you out of these torturing thoughts, making you come quicker to me! The half day has grown to the near-end, as the Sun begins to sink down into his slumber, barely keeping awake the radiant rays that has kept me warm, kept me warm in place of your arms tightly around my waist.  I brace myself against this steady rock, closing my eyes, to enjoy the last warm ray of the sleepy Sun; My mind rushes back to the day that brings me to why I am waiting for you now:

    'I will carry you. I will travel for the both of us. My footprints will be the only ones that they see. They will not continue with only one of us, for they can not begin without the pair of us.'
    'I love you far too much to burden you. I am well enough to continue with my own two stubborn feet. I...I...'
    'I love you far too much to see you in so much fear. You stay here and I will go alone. If you feel so strongly about this and do not wish to continue with me, then I will go for the both of us.'
    'NO!' Let us run away from here, let us chose the other path. They will never find us, they will never think of us having chosen the other path. They expect us, true, but they do not expect us to not come, so that means we have a chance to flee, right now!'
    'We can not run from Fate. Her and her sisters have sent for us and so we must go down this path. We must finish this path.'   
     'It is not really Fate and her sisters in which we fear. It is The Others that make us second-guess ourselves as we stand in limbo on this path. Please, I beg of you, let us chose the other path, then we will know for certain we will always be together!'   

This steady rock is holding its true form, for no matter how many times I beat my fists against it, no matter how much of my own blood that spills down the sides, this steady rock is still here, supporting me, something in which... I wish was you instead:

   'It is time, for we must go now. We have been called, together, for we must go. They can not wait any longer. Come. Come with me. I can not deny them any longer.'
   'O! How high in the heavens must I pray in order for the Gods themselves to strike you with such a force that you are unable to walk! How deep must my knees sink into the sodden Earth to pull you down with me, sink down..down..down..below, to hide within the Underworld, for the Night can keep us safe! I beg you with my core! I urge you to chose the other path with me! The Others, can not be trusted, for they have grown jealous within the recent Moons.'  

As I feel my hands go numb, blood-stained with cracking skin, I gaze upon the cool water, seeing the dying Sun slide his reflection across the rippling surface. I stumble forward with weakened knees but only to fall down hard upon the cold Earth onto them. I crawl to the water, wincing at the pain, but concentrating on the waters-edge. The memories increasing with a flow, a flow so great that drowns my mind:

    'You are fevered with assumptions! How can you speak of such things? These things in which you speak you do not know fully. For The Others can be trusted, for they have allowed us to be together for this long. They have allowed us to continue as we have been for even before the this land was risen.  Come! Come with ME Now! They can not wait any longer.'
    'Your words are filled with anger. You have already let The Others conquer your mind, and steal your spirit, for you have already continued down this path and you still attempt to drag me.'
    'I love you more than my lungs enjoy the fresh air of this land, in which we have called home. Please, I beg of YOU, Come! Come with me now and you will see what I have seen for The Others are True.'
     'How can you love me as much as you say, as much as you continued to say, and yet are forcing me to not stay here, but to follow you into an already known end. How can you love me that much to have me to suffer? You state that you have seen The Others and that they are True. You never left my side. I never left your side. So, when did The Others come to you?'
     

Reaching the waters-edge, I plunge my hands beneath the surface, in an attempt to wash away the spoiled blood, in an attempt to become pure of thought, pure of Spirit, rid of memory:

      'Within the Astral, as I sat and wondered around our meeting place. I hungered for you so much and my passion was with much fervor that the very Astral itself shook and trembled with intense emotion that They noticed and quickly came upon me.'
       'Why... did  you not tell me this sooner?'
       'There were many reasons, but the one in which I believe to be the most True was that I did not want to affect you.'
       'Do you realise that I am affected now, in this present realm and time?'
       'With each passing word, a minute is lost, for we must go down this path!'
       'And with each passing word, a minute is gained, a minute more of being with you.'

Letting my hands plunge deeper into the water, I feel my body slither into the muddy waters-edge, sliding down into the cool water, numbing my memories, numbing my mind, but not numbing the memories of you.

...For I still wait for you.

----7&8--- 

What is the difference between falling in love with someone, or falling in love with an idea of someone?

What is the difference between falling in love with a habit?

Or is falling in love with someone only falling in love with their habits?

How can one tell the difference between falling in love with an idea, habit or someone's habits?

It's amazing how one thing can make you change your whole outlook on things.

Maybe some things are too deep in which to keep one's head above water.

Because, I'm quickly drowning.

You will always have me.

As you will always have me.

My embrace wouldn't faulter if the Gods themselves commanded me;

Concentrate on you; see what happens.

You do everything for a ‘reason’.

Because I enjoy it.

Flustered?

VERY.

Fluster you more…

When you get flustered, I get flustered;

A constant stream.

Delicious Sounds;

Lip biting.

Flavour?

One flavour I utterly ache for.

…Hear me, feel me, squirm…

Indeed, it makes me squirm.

I know what I'll be thinking of

I know what I'm thinking of already.

You’re my natural addiction no rehabilitation could ever keep me from.

I love being your 'herb'…

I'll indulge and 'engorge' at your desire.

…whimpers under a bit lip;

Mumbling, ‘oh gods’.

Over and over again.

… Faster,

            Tempting,

                                Wanting,

                                                    Needing,

                                                                            Desire,

                                    Crave;

                                    Alluring;

You.

Stole the words right from my thoughts.

---... (7&8) ...--- 

Anticipating you;

With whimpers soft.

Being in entirety;

Complete within you.

Need to crawl towards you;

pulled by lead to want you.

Lusting,

to please;

carnal,

domination,

uncontrollable,

Nothing can quiet the murmurs of temptation.

Throw to pin down;

Gliding into sweaty slides;

Pulsing warm liquid dripping

Down, down, down;

between slick thighs;

Squirming in place;

Aching below;

Licking,

Lapping and flicking;

Tease…slowly;

Hover over me;

Keeping me captive;

Memorizing,

Urge!

Pleading to please;

Demanding more.

Molesting!

       Stroking!!

Fondling!!!

   Grasping!!!!

         Pulling harder…

Craving more…

Constriction.

Panting, panting, panting;

Whimpers into murmurs;

of blissful nonsense.

Breathing for each other.

Spattered words;

Between shallow breaths.

Indulge me!
Rapture and ravish;

Utterly all over;

in every sense

Engorge

me.

--- ... (7&8) ... --- 

Stop Stop

You go too fast

Stop Stop

It can not last

Stop stop

Please, I ask

Stop stop

Let it pass

Why Why

Does this continue

Please please

Just tell me

Stop stop

It can not last

I can do no more

The time has passed. 

I won't be home again;

Am I lost?

You forgot me long ago.

Am I that unimportant?

Am I so trival to forget?

How could you try for me now?

When you could not then? 

Is someone missing me?

Somewhere?

Long ago,  locked away in a memory box;

Here I am still, shaking within these stocks. 

Forgive me;

But, I won't be home again.

I remember what has been done.

Forget me.

Little triggers, explode with synapse;

I faulter little by little...wondering,

  'How long can this last?'

Nothing fades;

With each passing day;

Each black mass;

Each tick;

Each twinkling;

...and yet, still no inkling.

I still shan't be home again.

I remember too many shadows.

Transcendental touch;

Seraphic song;

Eternal ecstasy;

Gagging, grasping inside this hutch!

My own umbra uniting with those shadows;

Choking, crushing, constraining my core;

I...I...

...am not sure how much more...

Essence is left.

Like a rag, twisted, wrung into stenosis;

drip...drip...drip..

Pushing it, cramming it past a trembling lip.

---H--- 93. 

Mirror me

uoy rorriM

From looking for so long

My eyes blur from distorted images

No longer can I tell which is hcihw

em rorriM

Mirror you

Half of me ereht

Half of me here

Distant from myself

That stranger is looking back at me

And yet, I wonder what they see

ouy rorriM

Mirror me

Lost in a maze of glass

Too fragile to touch

Too cold to hug

Staring blankly back at me

And yet, I wonder what they see

Half of me there

Half of me ereh

Water that separates shows deeper reflection

Rippling images, that wave when I’m still

Reaching out its watery tongue to lick my hand

Retracting when it wants to get a better look at me

And yet, I wonder what it sees.

Mirror you

me rorriM

This glass before me, only moves when I do

side

to

side

Only seeing what I see

And yet, I wonder where I’ll be?

hrs © 2006

I've tried to live my life without regret. If something is done, then you shouldn't regret it, but in order to not regret it later, then you must of had to have done the right thing in the first place.
This is often a problem.
At the time in which you chose something or do something, you think it's the right thing to do; however, in hindsight and knowing what you know, you may reconsider that you didn't do the right thing after all.
Thus, you start to become posioned by 'regret'.

There are few people that I know within this world that are 'all or nothing'. I happen to be one of them.
The 'all' to me, is a combination of things that I would like to be, not really things that I would like to have. The 'nothing' is the product of the 'all' that only has a few numbers to that 'combination'.
What am I to do with a half combination? It's not going to help me unlock an 'entirety' of something.
So, instead of just being 'stuck' with a useless, unworkable half combination, then I'd rather 'stick' with the 'nothing'.

Hindsight and regret go hand in hand, frockling down a path of uncertainty and apprehension. Apprehensive about the uncertainty of what lies on the path, around the path, beyond the path and within the path.
The path quickly becomes compromised and unwalkable.

If I knew what I know now, 10 years ago, then I wouldn't be where I am now. But, if I knew then what I do know now, then I wouldn't have been in the position to realise anything... because... nothing would be as it truely is now.

Stability is part of the 'all' that I long to have underneath my feet. Stability is a good number to have amongst the combination... it greatens the 'statistic' of a happier life.

But what actually 'is' a happier life? Some people think that money is a happiness inducing addition. Some people think that money isn't everything. Money, like with other materialistic virtues can bring either happiness or bitterness. It can make a person jealous, greedy and impatient. Or, make a person joyous, charitiable or frivoulous.
If something as physcially 'simple' as spendable paper can do all them things, then just think of the power of what one's mind can do.
The mind can either deal with stress or just block out stressful things. For me, the mind is more important than spendable paper... in this case, just plain paper would be a stress reducer for mind.

And is that stress reduced further if the plain paper is blanketed with emotional words? Is that stress relived even further if someone can respond to the emotional words? Does that stress get closer to fleeing completely away if someone actually also, emotionally acknowleged those words?
Maybe. But, again it's all 'nothing' if that someone doesn't even bother to fully read or comprehend what those emotional words actually 'mean'.
The the writer can become even more stressed out if they are told, 'Sorry, but I just don't understand what you say.'
OK. Then can you at least tell me why you are in my life?

I've always thought, it's not the quanity of people that are involved in one's life, but the quality of people. I've often wondered if my own standards are too high for those that I have in my life.
On a moral, virtuistic and emotionally standpoint, I mean. Not in the 'mortal' sense. I'm not an 'eliteist'.

Maybe there is something within me that attracts certain 'whatevers' into my life that I'm supposed to either do something with or vanquish from my life altogether.
Is there such a thing as an emotional reconstruction?
Is there such a thing as emotional damage control?
Is there such a thing as emotional standards?
If there is such a thing as the latter, then why am I fucking wasting my time with those that do not have the same emotional standards as me?