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Thursday, November 02, 2006
To Regret Emotional Standards
I've tried to live my life without regret. If something is done, then you shouldn't regret it, but in order to not regret it later, then you must of had to have done the right thing in the first place.
This is often a problem.
At the time in which you chose something or do something, you think it's the right thing to do; however, in hindsight and knowing what you know, you may reconsider that you didn't do the right thing after all.
Thus, you start to become posioned by 'regret'.
There are few people that I know within this world that are 'all or nothing'. I happen to be one of them.
The 'all' to me, is a combination of things that I would like to be, not really things that I would like to have. The 'nothing' is the product of the 'all' that only has a few numbers to that 'combination'.
What am I to do with a half combination? It's not going to help me unlock an 'entirety' of something.
So, instead of just being 'stuck' with a useless, unworkable half combination, then I'd rather 'stick' with the 'nothing'.
Hindsight and regret go hand in hand, frockling down a path of uncertainty and apprehension. Apprehensive about the uncertainty of what lies on the path, around the path, beyond the path and within the path.
The path quickly becomes compromised and unwalkable.
If I knew what I know now, 10 years ago, then I wouldn't be where I am now. But, if I knew then what I do know now, then I wouldn't have been in the position to realise anything... because... nothing would be as it truely is now.
Stability is part of the 'all' that I long to have underneath my feet. Stability is a good number to have amongst the combination... it greatens the 'statistic' of a happier life.
But what actually 'is' a happier life? Some people think that money is a happiness inducing addition. Some people think that money isn't everything. Money, like with other materialistic virtues can bring either happiness or bitterness. It can make a person jealous, greedy and impatient. Or, make a person joyous, charitiable or frivoulous.
If something as physcially 'simple' as spendable paper can do all them things, then just think of the power of what one's mind can do.
The mind can either deal with stress or just block out stressful things. For me, the mind is more important than spendable paper... in this case, just plain paper would be a stress reducer for mind.
And is that stress reduced further if the plain paper is blanketed with emotional words? Is that stress relived even further if someone can respond to the emotional words? Does that stress get closer to fleeing completely away if someone actually also, emotionally acknowleged those words?
Maybe. But, again it's all 'nothing' if that someone doesn't even bother to fully read or comprehend what those emotional words actually 'mean'.
The the writer can become even more stressed out if they are told, 'Sorry, but I just don't understand what you say.'
OK. Then can you at least tell me why you are in my life?
I've always thought, it's not the quanity of people that are involved in one's life, but the quality of people. I've often wondered if my own standards are too high for those that I have in my life.
On a moral, virtuistic and emotionally standpoint, I mean. Not in the 'mortal' sense. I'm not an 'eliteist'.
Maybe there is something within me that attracts certain 'whatevers' into my life that I'm supposed to either do something with or vanquish from my life altogether.
Is there such a thing as an emotional reconstruction?
Is there such a thing as emotional damage control?
Is there such a thing as emotional standards?
If there is such a thing as the latter, then why am I fucking wasting my time with those that do not have the same emotional standards as me?
08:18 Posted in Dwellings | Permalink | Email this